I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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