Define "chronic" masturbator.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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