her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
