What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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