We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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