watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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