I heard we made out
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Randomize
