waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
