Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
