would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just want nice things and good sex
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
