Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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