I'm really into asian looking animals
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Pooping to opera.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
