he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
