I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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