Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
