i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
