I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
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