my sisters under your porch take her home
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
