i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
