I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
