JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
