My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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