Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
