I wanna passion pit in your ass
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
