I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
