Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
