we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
