Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
