We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize