I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
