: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
