3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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