MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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