I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
