she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
