I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
