I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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