I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
