rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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