your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
