Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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