i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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