I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
