oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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