Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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