So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
