shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
