She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
