After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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