the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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