Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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