I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
