he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we're making bets on your personal life
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
