The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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