I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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