I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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