This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
