I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize