i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I stole a fireplace last night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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