I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize