the new term for farting is butt boxing.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
