I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
