last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Randomize
