I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
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