Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
