We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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