the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
please don't ironically join a cult
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