I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
