I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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