does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
