Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
