How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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