I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
