If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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