Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize
