I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
